My Special Brother, Oisin – Catering to Siblings of Children with Special Needs

Learning to care for a child with any type of special needs is difficult for parents and teachers alike. We’ve worked in this industry long enough to see the ups and downs our clients endure. We’ve witnessed the beautiful miracles of joy along the way. 

Miracles such as seeing a child progress through therapy to be able to walk or dress himself. Rewards such as seeing the joy and relief on a parent’s face when their little one achieves a special accomplishment. 

And something else we often see in our work is the journey taken by the siblings of children with special needs. Their journey is one of a unique perspective from that of the parent, teacher, or care provider.

So, this month, we wanted to take a little time to turn our attention to the siblings of children with special needs.

Siblings of Children with Special Needs Are Impacted, Too

A few months back, we received this beautiful gift from our friend Lorna in Dublin. Her daughter had taken the time to write a small note about how it feels to have a brother with special needs.

We think her words are so perfect that we got permission from Lorna to simply share it with you in its original form:

My Special Brother, Oisin.

“My brother is 7 years old – he has special needs. It is not bad news because he teaches me things as much as I teach him. He is very clever even though he cannot express himself, but if you look closely, you can see what is wrong or what he’s trying to tell you. So if you know someone like my brother, please be patient and take your time to listen to them closely.

It is very busy in our house, as my brother does a lot of therapies. Me and my sister do not mind going to the therapies because I know it will help him.

These are the type of special needs my brother has: dyspraxia, which means he has trouble with running talking and remembering. When he used to walk, he would fall a lot and he was floppy when he walked. He also has speech problems and a lot of learning problems. In school he uses a laptop.

He is also happy nearly every day, but sometimes he has a meltdown. This is when he cries a lot, hits, kicks, pinches, pulls our hair and is very hard to calm down. But with big hugs and his favorite toy (which is his elf) he eventually calms down.

He is not a bad boy – it is just sometimes the world becomes too much for him and he cannot cope.

My brother makes me happy, and I want to help other children like my brother when I grow up. I really want to be a therapist when I leave school. So, you see, having a brother with special needs is not all that bad! I hope my story can help you!

OH!!! I nearly forgot – his work and his therapies are paying off, and he is making great progress!”

Special Needs Sibling Support

We think that this young lady has a beautiful start to a blog of her very own, don’t you?

Thank you so much to Lorna and her sweet family for setting the tone for our exploration this And also, how to provide support and healthy development of the whole family together.

Let’s start now with a list of organizations around the world who specialize in special needs sibling support. The biggest message overall is to help children understand that their perspective is unique and their individuality is appreciated.

In doing so, we also recommend encouraging siblings to reach out to other children and adults in similar situations to create a community of support to turn to when things get difficult or overwhelming at home.

Set the Tone Early for Special Needs Siblings Support

It’s important to set the tone for self-support early in a child’s life. Many siblings of children with special needs grow accustomed to “coming second” in terms of support and attention throughout their life.

If they don’t receive encouragement early on for finding sources of connection and support with friends and outside family members, they can become vulnerable to isolation, anxiety and depression into adulthood.

One of the most difficult transitions for siblings of children with special needs is the stage of adulthood in which they are simultaneously caring for their siblings, aging parents, and family of their own.

A great way to encourage seeking support outside the family is by connecting with organizations that specialize in special needs siblings support.

Organizations Around the World that Provide Special Needs Siblings Support

United Kingdom

Sibs, for example, is a community support organization in the UK for siblings of children with special needs. They recognized early on the impact of disability on siblings and their need for a community of their own. In 2016, Sibs expanded with a network of volunteer-led, peer-driven special needs sibling support. (https://www.sibs.org.uk/)

United States

In the United States, the Sibling Leadership Network offers special needs siblings support in the form of articles, online forums, ambassador programs and conferences. (https://siblingleadership.org/about/)

There is also the Sibling Support Project, who publish books for and about siblings of children with special needs, host online groups for various ages, and offer workshops around the US.

“We are best known for helping local communities start Sibshops—lively peer support groups for school-age brothers and sisters of kids with special needs.” (https://www.siblingsupport.org/)

The Arc is an organization that offers assistance to children with special needs.  The Arc produces a newsletter called Sibling Scene, specifically for special needs siblings support. (https://www.thearc.org/siblings)

South Africa

In South Africa, the Sunshine Association offers similar support for family and siblings of children with special needs, including summer camps! (https://www.sunshine.org.za/)

Australia

And for those families in Australia, you have the team at Siblings Australia and My Time at your service. (https://siblingsaustralia.org.au/)  MyTime even has a group-finder tool to help parents and siblings locate their nearest group for meetings and comradery. (https://www.mytime.net.au/groups/)

Your Stories

We would love to collect more stories and letters from families and siblings of children with special needs! Please email us or comment below with any wonderful stories you’d like to share!